Holiday Havoc

Holiday season is one of my favorite times of the year, but the more I think about it I really don't know why. As much as I would love to migrate south to avoid the bitter cold, the thought of Holidays and all of the cheerful, turbid chaos they bring keep me warm and snug inside. Of course the year is filled with Holidays and most of them are as trivial as bingo night, but this time of year has all the "big ones" lined up, staring you in the face like an offensive line. Halloween for me is always something to look forward to even though I don't necessarily do anything. The last time I went trick-or-treating was in High School when I took an old cane lying around the house, put on a buttoned shirt and a waistcoat, and went out as "an Englishman." After that I naturally thought it best to officially announce my retirement from the trick-or-treating business. I guess the only thing about Halloween I have to look forward to is about ten years from now when I own a house and I can think of elaborate ways of scaring little kids as they ask for candy. Now Thanksgiving to me has suffered the worst over adolescence. Despite the fact that my mother cooks a fantabulous turkey and herbal stuffing and my father bakes his gooseberry pie (he got the recipe from my grandmother who I'm convinced beat some sort of divine being in a game of Euchre to receive it), I never really can get as excited about Thanksgiving as I used to. For some strange reason teachers love assigning projects over the Thanksgiving break so the dice are loaded from the start. This year might be different, however, because I'll be able to throw alcohol into the mix. There is also something about Christmas that has never been fully recaptured. Most of the time my family buys a Christmas tree, my mom takes out the decorations from the attic, and then we look at each other to see who will actually use them. It kind of makes me wonder if I've been duped into doing it for the last fifteen years and I was just so excited about Christmas that I never really noticed. And you can forget about Christmas Lights. But after all, who doesn't dig presents right? And New Year's is right around the corner and this Holiday has probably risen in my estimation over the years. I never really saw the point of New Year's as a child. In fact, I was usually depressed that my brothers were out partying and I only had my broken resolutions from last year to keep me company. So New Year's is probably the one Holiday that improves with age. And then you're pretty much set for awhile until Valentine's Day. Despite this small victory however I can't imagine that I will ever enjoy a Holiday as much as I did when I was a child. I guess the moral of the story is that children can wring the fun out of Holidays the way we can wring them after the Holidays.